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Sunday, July 14, 2013

Relationships, honesty and Islam

Islam builds ethical qualities in general and honesty in particular in several ways:
Allah orders the Muslim to be honest in all cases, in all deeds and words, to himself and others. Allah shows the Muslim rationally that honesty is the best policy, even on utilitarian bases.
Reward: Allah promises the honest person generous rewards in the first life and in the second life.
Punishment: Allah threatens the dishonest person with severe punishment for his dishonest behaviour.

Allah develops the habit of honesty in the Muslim through actual practice, i.e., through fasting and prayer. Thus Islam builds the habit of honesty in the Muslim through direct instructions, through rational arguments, through the reward and punishment principles, and through practice.

The health and longevity of the relationship depends upon honesty and trust. Honesty in a relationship is vitally important because it gives us the assurance that we can trust and rely on the person we love.

Honesty is the act of saying the truth whenever you are asked for it.

According to 'wikipedia': Honesty refers to a facet of moral character and denotes positive, virtuous attributes such as integrity, truthfulness, and straightforwardness along with the absence of lying, cheating, or theft.

There are many Islamic terms derived from the Arabic word for honesty. For example, the word for friend is derived from the word for honesty, because a true friend is the one who will always be honest and truthful with you. Also, the word for charity is derived from the word for honesty. This is because when you give charity, it proves that you are honest in your belief in Allah (SWT).

Honesty is one of the manners that always accompany Prophets. Whenever Allah (SWT) mentions a Prophet in the holy Qur'an, he is described as being honest. This is an important trait of the Prophet, so that people would believe the message brought by the Prophet. If there is one trait that Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) was known for before Islam, it was that he was always honest and truthful. The Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) was known in his community before Islam as the honest and trustworthy.
  • Honesty in words implies telling the truth in all cases and under all conditions. 
  • Honesty also implies fulfilling the promise, whether written or given orally, in text and spirit. 
  • Honesty also implies giving the right advice to the one who asks for it. 
  • Honesty also implies doing one's work as sincerely and as perfectly as possible. 
  • Honesty also implies carrying out duties as fully as possible whether the person is supervised or not. 
  • Honesty means giving every person his due rights without his asking for these rights. 
  • Honesty means doing the right thing in the right way at the right time. 
  • Honesty means objectivity in judgment, objectivity in evaluation, and objectivity in decisions of all types. Honesty implies the right selection of personnel and the right promotion of personnel, i.e., selection by merit and promotion by merit, not by temper or favouritism or personal relations.
There are three types of honesty.
One part of honesty is tongue, then honesty of the intention and the actions.

The honesty of the tongue: This is the very famous type of honesty which all of us know. There are many examples to it, but first remember what the Prophet (PBUH) used to say in his supplication: O Allah grant me an honest tongue.

The honesty of the intention: This means that you want to perform an action with the pure intention that you do this for the sake of Allah (SWT).

Another type of honesty is in trade and at work. By being honest and truthful in your trade you will be on the same level as the prophets!

By being truthful and honest you can be with the prophet Mohammad (PBUH) and Prophet Musa and others. An example is that of a mechanic who is tasked with fixing your car. He brings you the bill and says that he has not betrayed anyone even though none of things needed to be done on the car!

Every one in their job has to be honest. Islam reach Asia through trade. An honest trader going to another country sells his merchandise. As someone buys a suit from him, he warns them that the suit has a slight defect. They say they can't see it but he says it is there so they wonder at his honesty and ask him about his religion.

Another type of honesty is in maintaining secrets.
Honesty is also in dealing with women. How can so many youth deal with women when their intentions are dishonest?
Let us look at a great example God (SWT) gave us in the Qur'an: Prophet Musa. When the people of Madyan went to collect water, he found two women standing to the side, not able to get to the well to get some water because of the crowds. He went up to them and asked them what was wrong in only two words.

The Virtues of Honesty: The Prophet (PBUH) said: Honesty leads to being virtuous, and being virtuous leads to paradise, and the person is honest and makes sure to be honest, until he is written with Allah to be an honest person.

Lying leads to disobedience, and disobedience leads to the hell fire, and the person lies and insists on lying until he is written with Allah to be a liar.

The Prophet (PBUH) said: If you guarantee me six things, I will guarantee paradise for you. Be honest if you talk.

  1. Fulfill your pledges and agreements.
  2. Return the goods people give to you for safe keeping.
  3. Guard your private parts.
  4. Lower your gaze.
  5. Don't harm people with your hands

The Prophet (PBUH) said: Whoever guarantees (not to misuse) their tongue and their private parts, I will guarantee paradise for them.
Honesty is calmness and serenity, and lying is doubt and fear.
It is a major betrayal that you should say something to your brother while he believes you and you are lying to him.
The signs of the hypocrite are three: He lies in his speech, and if he promises he doesn't keep his promise, and if he is trusted with something he betrays.
We hear it often that "Honesty is the best policy." and it is true when it comes to being honest in relationships. We can only trust someone if he or she is honest with you. And you can only have a real relationship if it is based on honesty and trust. When it comes to relationship, honesty is real value that we should do to keep alive.

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread. ~Josh Billings

More studies:

Rules for ‘Honesty’ in Relationships

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